Romantic Relationships

Written by: Jamie Krider

As people get busier in their work and personal life they often find it harder to go out or make time to search for their soul mate. Wouldn’t it just be easier to be able to search for that person from your living room? Digital media has done just that and more. Men and women are now able to find a life partner and date through the internet, telephone, cell phone and TV shows. Now a day’s, searching for a husband or a wife on-line is as common and socially accepted as if the person was to go out and do the real thing. Recent national studies indicate that 3%-6% of current long-term relationships and marriages began over the internet.
One form of dating is via the internet through a dating service specifically for finding the ‘perfect match’ for you. Such sites include EHarmony.com, Match.com, Yahoo Personals and PlentyofFish.com. “Most of the Online Dating Service providing Network Sites allow their users to upload their photographs, make profiles and search for their respective suitable according to gender, location, age range and sought preferences. Some of these service providers also offer online chats and message boards for the users and thus attract visitors to sign up and join in the network, resulting in the growth of size.” (Social Networking) A majority of these sites have the person take a questionnaire that can average 10 pages long to help assemble a profile and matches for the customer based on their personality, morals, beliefs, likes and dislikes. “When you use an online dating service, you can screen your potential lovers and avoid the ones you know are not going to be compatible.” (ArticlesBase)
A majority of people obtain a successful relationship through this process and a number of couples get married each year. According to Fiore’s research “In August 2003 alone, 40 million unique users visited online dating sites in the United States alone, according to U.S. News & World Report — that’s about half the number of single adults in the U.S.” A majority of users are people who are older and don’t often go out publicly due to busy schedules or intimidation. In the real world people are so quick to judge. That guy you blew off at the coffee shop could have been the most compatible person for you, but you quickly wrote him off the second he walked towards you because you didn’t like his hair style. That is the great thing about on-line dating, you judge and are judged so much less compared to the real dating world. It’s not about what hair style he has or the stink eye he gives while reading the newspaper, it’s about how people connect on a deeper level; a connection that last a life time. On-Line dating websites have become so popular that it resulted in a figure of more than $450 million being spent on the service by US citizens alone in the year 2004.
Another on-line dating tool is access to a pool of people through social networks such as Facebook and MySpace. Although the main purpose of these sites is for people to interact with academic friends, close friends and family, people often find themselves making new friends and potential mates. These sites even added their own ‘personals’ section to help single people find love. A website called Thread.com is a company that utilizes Facebook users to find people of interest through their friends on Facebook by suggesting friends of friends with similar interest. An ABC news story done by Walter Storholt called Facebook’s Starring Role in Budding Relationships covers how Facebook is the new way for college students to meet other singles and set up dates. Storholt interviews several college students asking them how they use Facebook as a dating tool. Many students responded with they use it to seek out information about a person prior to going on a date, they send pick up lines, ‘pokes’, and it is just another source of flirting and be able to meet someone new.

Finding love these days is not limited to just going to the bar or making a profile on an internet website. In today’s reality junkie world, a single man or woman is able to audition for a reality dating show to find love such as The Bachelor, Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too, Average Joe, Daisy of Love, Blind date and More to Love. Is this type of dating service a success? Though many believe that these shows are a scam and all about the ratings there are a few couple’s who have found love and happiness such as season 14 of The Bachelor’s couple Jason and Molly who just got married February 27,2010 and Bachelorette couple Trista and Ryan married in 2003. Many people have lost and loved on these reality shows, and thought this may not be the best dating service available but it is still a way for individuals to meet different types of people one may never have had a chance to do in the real world.

Work Cited

Hall, Jeffrey A., et al. “Strategic misrepresentation in online dating: The effects of gender, self- monitoring, and personality traits.” Journal of Social & Personal Relationships 27.1 (2010): 117-135. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 19 Mar. 2010.
Mikyoung, Kim, Kwon Kyoung-Nan, and Lee Mira. “Psychological Characteristics of Internet Dating Service Users: The Effect of Self-Esteem, Involvement, and Sociability on the Use of Internet Dating Services.” CyberPsychology & Behavior 12.4 (2009): 445-449. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 19 Mar. 2010.

Sprecher, Susan. “Relationship Initiation and Formation on the Internet.” Marriage & Family Review 45.6-8 (2009): 761-782. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 19 March. 2010.

“Online Dating Trends.” Social Networking. Web. 17 March 2010.

Ellison, Nicole, Charles Steinfield, and Cliff Lampe. “The benefits of Facebook “friends:” Social
capital and college students’ use of online social network sites.” Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 12(4), (2007) article 1. Web. 17 March 2010.

Kincaid, Jason. “Thread.com Raises $1.2 Million for Facebook-Powered Matchmaking Service.”
TechCrunch. TechCrunch, 1 Sept. 2009. Web. 17 March 2010.

Hill, Chappel. “Facebook’s Starring Role in a Budding Romance.” ABC News/Technology. ABC
News, 22 Oct. 2008. Web. 17 March 2010.

“Successful Online Dating.” Articles Base. 1 Jan. 2010. Web. 17 March 2010.

How digital media facilitates relationships

Written by: Evan Grossjan
In the realm of digital media, there are ways in which social networking sites become aimed towards users of the media. They seem to have an affect on individuals who are involved in online relationships. The question is how does digital-media facilitate these virtual relationships?

Do individuals who engage in websites like eHarmony.com or Facebook.com find that these sites  help their decision making and ultimately the relationships that are formed through them? One article in The Irish Times stated that online relationship development has become the new “lonely hearts columns of newspapers and magazines”. This trend can be identified when you look at how people interacted and developed relationships years before the development of social networking sites. As information changes and becomes readily available to millions and millions of users, these social sites must also evolve in a way so as to reach its target audience. Focusing on relationships, digital media poses as a ‘friend’ to all who use it. We’ve seen this model many times when we are on our Facebook account. You’re online and a dialog box pops up in the corner saying that you might know someone who you may not be friends with virtually, but because their digital information matches some of yours, (same school, city, or friend of a friend) they offer the choice to select their profile and you then can visit with that person. The same can be said when we look at a person’s Twitter home page and there is an option to look at who that person is following. If your interested in any of their friends they are following, you simply begin to follow that person as well. These sites are set up that way so that the constant flow and transfer of information is as readily available as it can be to its users.

But to understand how digital media affects relationships through facilitating the circle of online, social meetings, we must look at what is required to participate digitally. Users of digital media need to understand a coded language that enables them to participate in this process. Phrases like ‘tagging’ and ‘friend request’ are embedded in millions of users brains as vocabulary used only online. So to adapt to this trend, digital media, social sites and virtual tools aimed at developing and nurturing online relationships realized that they must adapt as well and shift their focus to more intricate ways of facilitating relationships. One example could be the Internet/phone application tool known as Skype. Users of this tool can video conference  and call people through their Internet connection while having the ability to see via web cam, the person they’re chatting with as they talk to them. Other examples such as instant messaging are quick ways to reach people virtually by speaking with them while connected online in real-time.

Online relationships have become a way for people to seek out others they might not find in their home town, school, or even workplace. Those seeking romantic or casual relationships do not necessarily need to head out to their local bars or clubs to find people anymore. Instead they can access their computer and participate digitally with friends. The question then becomes, what is healthy participation and what is harmful participation? One story that has always intrigued me had to do with one guy taking his virtual relationship too far. I have two friends who are married and they have developed a relationship with another couple who lives in Canada. They would have had no way of doing this years ago unless physically present in Canada. But thanks to digital media, (instant messaging, texting, video chatting, Facebook/Myspace) my friends used these virtual tools and began what they thought was a cool relationship with their northern neighbors. The four of them spoke off and on via Facebook, Skype, and sometimes through cell phones. The male friend from Canada began to take matters into his own hands and decided to only speak to my friend’s wife here in the U.S. The Canadian man, although married, decided that he wanted to become romantically involved with my friend’s wife and started harassing her online. She told her husband, my friend, and they confronted him by saying they would no longer be able to speak with him or his wife any more online. The Canadian man then started to call her and text her constantly so much to the point that they had to get new cell phone numbers and changed their Facebook accounts.

Another interesting look into how digital media facilitates relationships is that it allows for distance between two individuals participating online, to become less of an issue when involved romantically or casually. (unless you become and obsessed Canadian wanting to be with a married woman) Obviously as the relationship progresses, that distance becomes more of a factor but nevertheless, digital media has progressed many relationships. Where else could you look at a huge list of people and pick and choose who you want to develop relationships with? Digital media facilitates relationships by understanding its users and what they require; interaction. Texting, social networking, email, and many other forms of digital media, have all had huge impacts on the development of interpersonal relationships. Access to people and their information has changed the way we operate and maintain relationships. It doesn’t have to be scary, (like my friends Canadian relationship) but we can make the best use of it as humanly possible.

This video gives a brief overview on how digital relationships have been facilitated through digital media.

Professional Networking

Written by: Shannon Walton

As digital media continues to become an integral part of our everyday lives, professionals must take a look at how these tools can assist or hinder their relationships and business. Particularly social media can provide an avenue for new business, or develop difficulties in the workplace. But with anything, positives and negatives must be weighed. And one must decide how to handle the possibilities associated with such progressive activities. Can they positively affect the professional relationships of a company? Can they cause negative outcomes? Or both?

Benefits of social networking for professional purposes

Several benefits can be gained by the use of digital media for professionals. The added use of digital devices can expand productivity. This is even true outside the office or home with the use of iPhones or Blackberries. Additionally, there are many benefits that businesses can encounter using various social networking sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and others. For many professionals, it can broaden the scope of potential customers and further build relationships with current ones. Also, this networking can create or strengthen ties with others in the same field.

Relationship Economics expert David Nour discusses the importance of these connections in the professional realm. At the 2009 NSA Convention, he urges his audience to synchronize who they are as a person and who they are digitally. This memorable concept is summed up in these words: “make your online and offline be in-line.” This is best illustrated through a business associate of Nour, whose business card only reads “Google Me”. This associate has coordinated himself enough digitally that he is certain his suitors will find what they are looking for, and paint an accurate picture of who he is, and his success in his business. Another company, as Nour notes, has printed their business cards to look like their Google Ad. Such aligned presence can have massively positive effects on future business, potential clientele, and the relationships that come as a result.

Additionally, by connecting to social networking, companies are able to keep their finger on the pulse of their consumers. They are able to “listen in” on what their customers really want through consumer generated content. By joining any of these free networks, a wealth of information is continuously at the fingertips of the company. And with their connections through various social media, ideas or products could potentially come directly from the consumer. This is a shift in the way businesses operate.

Consumers benefit as well. They are able to voice their opinions about what they want to see changed about what they are buying or using. For example, there are features of the iPhone and iPod Touch that allow customers to give feedback on what they’d like to see changed or added to the applications they are using.

Consumers speak, professionals listen, thus strengthening their relationship. Digital media can be a huge benefit to professional relationships as it pertains to good business and clientele.

But what about inside the workplace with peer-to-peer or boss-subordinate relationships? Can social networking benefit these relationships? Or are there more things to consider?

Complications of social media in the workplace:

Emails, voicemails, instant messages and tweets can add to communication around the office, but can have a profound effect on the relationships of colleagues. Such digital tools may increase productivity, but limits personal interactions, causing some to never know those they work with on a daily basis.

Additionally,  being “friends” with your boss or “following” your other colleagues can provide ways for each of you to connect outside the workplace, perhaps even in ways that are common about your daily interactions with one another. However, there are complications to consider. When social networking and other digital media are handled carelessly, issues can arise among co-workers. Furthermore, problems can occur with employers and employees, even resulting in dismissal, as one woman discovered. For others, it’s other content and photos that are to be regarded. It may be a little embarrassing to be sitting in a meeting Tuesday morning with your boss having seen the pictures tagged of of you in Vegas from Saturday night.

Although some are toiling over the management of their social networking connections with those in the workplace, some are grappling the decision to even make those connections in the first place. “Is it ok to friend request my boss?” “Should I accept a friend request from the weird girl in the next cubicle?” “Do I really want to know about their personal lives?” or “Do I want them to know about mine?” are sometimes the questions on the minds of many associates. This article lends advice to these matters.

Digital media can be effective in the workplace, but complicated if not carefully managed.

Personal and Professional: Mutually Exclusive?

So where’s the balance? Should social and professional networking be mutually exclusive? Should your social networking be compartmentalized as personal, professional, and familial, or should the lines be blurred between them? And how much does one disclose about their personal lives in professional contexts?

These questions are important for professionals to answer for themselves, to determine their level of comfort in mixing business with pleasure. Some say sharing about your weekend and others personal details simply makes you human, personable, approachable. Other factors may be dependent on your job.

Personally, as a Pastor to young people, I find myself grappling with this kind of balance or exclusivity. For me, much of my personal and professional life overlap and lines become fuzzy. There are ways in which I choose to separate the two, by having two separate Twitter accounts, for example, one for those in the church, and one for personal and academic purposes. But other separation questions arise as well: Do I answer a phone call from a Congregant on my day off? Often times the overlapping is inevitable or boundaries are blurred, other times they are distinct. But in my profession I must choose carefully.

For many other professionals the choices must be made. There have been profound effects that digital media have had on both personal and professional relationships. How these two should be balanced is up to each person, considering the benefits, complications and overlap.

DavidNour.com. David Nour. The Nour Group, Inc. 15 March, 2010 http://www.davidnour.com

Relationship Economics: The Art & Science of Relationships. Social Networking NEXT. The Nour Group, Inc. 15 March, 2010 http://www.relationshipeconomics.net/SocialNetworkingNextVideo.html

 Reuters. How To Decline Facebook Friends Friends Without Offense. Richard Baum. New York. 15 March 2010. <http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE61L1WL20100222?type=technologyNews%3FfeedType%3DRSS&feedName=technologyNews&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+reuters%2FtechnologyNews+%28News+%2F+US+%2F+Technology%29&utm_content=Twitter>

Social Media Today: The Web’s Best Thinkers on Social Media and Web 2.o. How to Balance Your Persona and Professional Lives in Social Media.  Jason Baer. 15 March 2010. <http://www.socialmediatoday.com/SMC/160504>

The Daily Record. Nicole Black. Are Social and Professional Networking Mutually Exclusive? The Daily Record. 15 March 2010. <http://nylawblog.typepad.com/files/dr-2.9.09.pdf>

Monster.ca. Making Business Relationships Personal. Keith Ferrazzi. Monster. 15 March 2010. <http://content.monster.ca/8498_en-CA_p1.asp>